Teddy Bears and Fertile Hips

April 26, 2013 — 5 Comments

January 2012

Oh, is your teddy bear sick? What’s wrong with him? Does he need to see a doctor?”

Yes, he has a booboo on his arm.”

Well, then, you’re in the right place. Walk right into my office here and I’ll see what I can do for him.”

The Teddy Bear Clinic happens once or twice a year at our hospital, and I happened to have volunteered this year to minister to various bears, dinosaurs, barbie dolls, GI Joes, etc. that had suffered random (and often creative) mishaps. Children from the neighborhood bring their inanimate friends in for “booboos”, coughs, runny noses, tumors, amputations (I’m not kidding)…you know, typical emergencies that might befall a stuffed animal. In any case, it was a good cause: trying to get children to feel more comfortable in the hospital. I think those kids are actually too smart to fall for the charade. In reality, they’re just playing along with us idiot adults. But, hey, I’m not about to point this out to Admin.

That day, I tried to keep a straight face as these kids directed my attention to the assorted ailments I needed to address. At the back of my mind, however, was the nagging thought that my period was late. Also at the back of my mind, but perhaps less farther back, was the realization that I was kind of hoping that I was pregnant. Was it the room full of kids? The adorable (and occasionally maimed) stuffed animals? Hormones? Lack of caffeine? I’m not sure. The husband and I had sort of, kind of started trying a month ago, with no realistic expectation of getting pregnant right away. We had read the statistics and whatnot and knew it could take 3-4, maybe even 6 months. Not to mention I’m in my mid-30s, so there are some stale eggs in here. However, I like to pride myself on the very fertile women from which I descend. No one has ever had any difficulty conceiving in my extended family. And I’ve got the same wide, “please-fertilize-me” hips they all have/had. So…this should be a piece of cake, right?

-Author S-


5 responses to Teddy Bears and Fertile Hips


    ahh I remember that optimism! My second month of trying I was going away on a girls weekend and had to wait until the morning I went to POAS to ‘check I could still drink’! I was so convinced it was only going to be a matter of 3-4 months max!!


    I remember that “presumed fertility,” too. 🙂 My other-half said, “You know it’s going to work right away, right?” And it sort of DID… except that I then miscarried right away, too…. and then didn’t get pregnant again until we did IVF a few years later. YAY! :eyeroll:

    But more important: Teddy Bear clinic? Oh my effin’ god, that’s adorable. I still have my teddy bear. I used to have birthday parties for him and everything. I would totally have believed the docs were helping him. 🙂


      Right, because you look around and all these “spontaneously pregnant” ladies make it look like a piece of cake. I had a friend who sheepishly admitted to me that she was never in the mood for sex but then one night really wanted to get it on. Next thing you know, she’s knocked up. After one try!!! WTF!!!


    A Teddy Bear clinic is amazing! I just came across the blog, was snooping around, and have decided to keep snooping 😉

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