I heard an interesting story the other day. A friend of mine found out she was pregnant, without much trying even though she is in her mid 30s. Of course she is relieved and ecstatic that it happened this way – she has numerous friends who have not had it as easy. Although 99% of people she told were thrilled for her, others decided to give their unsolicited “advice” instead of their congratulations. One person told her that she should be careful, now she was going to lose a lot of friends because they would be mad and jealous that she got pregnant easily. Apparently that person had lost some friends that way so assumed my friend would suffer the same fate. When she announced she was having a boy, another person told her to be careful because people want boys and would be jealous of her fortune.
Here’s what I say: these people offering her these myths should be careful because they’ve got crappy friends. As a person who has suffered through the fun of infertility can I say I’m allowed to be jealous? Absolutely. Should I say that I have every right to be envious? Hell yes. How about that I wish it would have happened that way for me? Of course! But she is my friend and has been my friend for years. So you know what? I am thrilled for her because I don’t wish the journey of infertility treatments on anyone! I am happy that she was spared and has gotten her miracle. Of course I joke about my wrath and green eyed thoughts but at the end of the day – that IVF shit sucks, but I can take it so better you not deal with it too if you don’t have to.
Jealousy, envy – they are allowed. However throwing voodoo thoughts someone’s ways are not going to help me in any way.
That’s my blog post – first one in a million weeks.